This past weekend I found myself with nothing better to do in a mall with an Apple Store, so what else was I to do but check out the new line of iPods?

Sure enough, the iPod Touch and the 160GB iPod Classic were nowhere to be found. They have yet to hit the stores, but I was able to handle the new 80GB Classic and the Not-So-Nano. I feel that after seeing these units in person, a few additional comments are warranted. 

First comes Fatty. The new Nano is in fact smaller in real life than it is in the promotional pictures. But it’s still in no shape to carry the Nano name. Maybe the Wafer would be better. While its width is the subject of much ridicule (and will continue to be here), its depth is impossibly thin. I wouldn’t stick in my pocket, though. The increased surface area and paper-thin depth makes me afraid that the thing might snap in half at the slightest wrong move.

Now the Classic. In the promotional pictures, the black Classic looked about as sexy as an iPod could look. But in the real-life arena of the showroom floor, the poor thing announces the presence of every sweaty fingerprint and food-court-slimed palm swipe that comes within a cubic meter of it. Very disappointing.

But the Silver/White Classic is the embodiment of gorgeous! No photograph can do justice to the subtle contrast of silver brushed metal and classic white click-wheel. And though just as many gawkers were pawing the silver/whites as the matte blacks, not a single shred of biological evidence could be seen on the spotlessly clean surface. The silver/white 160GB is my choice for iPod perfection this holiday season.